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mindless paranoia http://twincitiescarry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=13108 |
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Author: | Dee [ Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | mindless paranoia |
Not sure if this is true but funny nonetheless. http://notalwaysright.com/pointless-par ... ackin/2028 |
Author: | macphisto [ Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
There's some hilarious stuff on that site, like this gem: Quote: Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones Liquor Store | Willimantic, CT, USA (Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.) Me: *walks out of the cooler* Customer: “Are you f***ing insane? It’s freezing in there. Me: “I don’t mind it.” Customer: “That’s bulls***! You know it’s cold. Why would you lie to me?” Me: “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I’m working so I get a bit warm, even in there.” Customer: “WARM!? In a COOLER!? You’re a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!” Me: “I’m Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there.” Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.” |
Author: | macphisto [ Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:51 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
And this: Quote: Well Played, Indeed Fast Food | North Dakota, USA (This is a friend’s experience while working at a popular fast food place on the overnight shift.) Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?” Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.” Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?” Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.” Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.” Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up* |
Author: | kecker [ Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:41 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Love that site. Visit every morning. |
Author: | Greg [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:46 am ] |
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Small Talk In The Big House Gas Station | Apple Valley, MN, USA (While working the overnight shift alone, a single customer walks into the store and walks to my register.) Customer: “What would you do if I robbed you?” Me: “…I’d call the cops.” Customer: “What about if I had a knife to your throat?” Me: “Do you really think those are good questions to be asking me?” Customer: “Okay, let’s just say I have a gun in your face.” Me: “Get out. Now.” Customer: “Sheesh, I was just trying to have a friendly conversation with you…” *leaves* |
Author: | macphisto [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:57 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Quote: Pepperoni Pizza With A Side Of Pointless Paranoia 911 Call Center | Montreal, QC, Canada Me: “9-1-1, police, fire, or ambulance?” Caller: “Help, please God, help!” Me: “Sir, what’s the emergency?” Caller: “Someone’s trying to break into my house! Please, send the cops!” Me: “Calm down… the police are well on the way as we are talking.” Caller: “I don’t want to die! Oh my God, why me?” Me: “Sir, take a deep breath. Do you know this person?” Caller: “Yeah, I ordered some pizza, I paid, and he gave it to me. I can see through the window it’s him… he’s pounding on my door trying to get in! Where are the cops?!” Me: “Sir, I’ll stay on the phone with you if it makes you feel safer. Can you yell what he wants?” Caller: “Okay…” *yells toward the door* “What do you want, man?!” Pizza guy: *faintly, behind the door* “You forgot your change!” |
Author: | Binky .357 [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:14 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Having worked at Radio Shack for a year and a half and dealing with both some of the brightest minds and those that missed the short bus, plus degenerates of all kinds including one that got busted for running a Meth Lab in the same house as his three daughters (Aged 6 to 10), I'll believe 90% of the conversations transcribed on the site. People are that stupid, that vapid, that paranoid, and that scary. Sometimes I weep for the human race. |
Author: | macphisto [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:37 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Binky .357 wrote: Having worked at Radio Shack for a year and a half and dealing with both some of the brightest minds and those that missed the short bus, plus degenerates of all kinds including one that got busted for running a Meth Lab in the same house as his three daughters (Aged 6 to 10), I'll believe 90% of the conversations transcribed on the site. People are that stupid, that vapid, that paranoid, and that scary. Sometimes I weep for the human race. After my five-year stint in retail, I'm right there with you. I'm a stronger person for the experience...but less compassionate and definitely more sardonic. |
Author: | Traveler [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:41 am ] |
Post subject: | |
I went into a Radio Shack some years back. A young gentleman waited on me. I pointed to the particular item I wanted which was on the wall behind him. He turned, looked at the wall, and asked again "Which item?". I said "The one at the top on your left." He immediately turned his head to the right and told me that he didn't see what I was talking about. I told him again, "On the left, at the top." He still kept looking to his right. I then blurted out: "No, on your OTHER left." Other customers started to chuckle and the sales clerk turrned, stared at me, and then walked very slowly to the back room. |
Author: | macphisto [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:08 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Quote: Ironically, She Was Seeing Get Smart Movie Theater | Dayton, OH, USA (I’m finishing a transaction with a customer at the movie theater.) Me: “… and would you like to make a donation to [charity] today?” Customer: “Well let me ask you something: do YOU donate to charity?” Me: “Yes, of course. I donate to this one as well as several others.” Customer: “Well, do YOU work for any charitable organizations?” Coworker: “Actually she works with the mentally handicapped and developmentally disabled 40 hours per week.” Customer: “Oh really? Where?” Coworker: “Here.” Customer: “I really don’t appreciate that!” |
Author: | macphisto [ Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:50 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Quote: Your Prank Got Spanked Gun Shop | Denver, CO, USA (This happened to a friend of mine who owns a gun shop.) Friend: “Hello, this is–” Caller: *twelve year old sounding voice* “Your mom!” Friend: “What?” Caller: “What your mom said.” Friend: “A prank caller are we?” Caller: *mocking tone* “A prank caller are we?” Friend: “Do your parents know what you’re doing? Because I have caller ID and I can call them back later.” Caller: “My parents are out of town… duuuhhh!” Friend: “You must have absolutely no idea what kind of store you just called, then.” Caller: “A GAY store?” (My friend puts the phone down and opens the locker behind the counter and retrieves a shotgun. He holds it next to the phone and pumps the action.) Friend: “Can you guess now?” Caller: “…” Friend: “You know, your caller ID gave me a first and last name. All I need to do is open a phone book and I can find your address.” Caller: *click* |
Author: | Binky .357 [ Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
macphisto wrote: Quote: Ironically, She Was Seeing Get Smart Movie Theater | Dayton, OH, USA (I’m finishing a transaction with a customer at the movie theater.) Me: “… and would you like to make a donation to [charity] today?” Customer: “Well let me ask you something: do YOU donate to charity?” Me: “Yes, of course. I donate to this one as well as several others.” Customer: “Well, do YOU work for any charitable organizations?” Coworker: “Actually she works with the mentally handicapped and developmentally disabled 40 hours per week.” Customer: “Oh really? Where?” Coworker: “Here.” Customer: “I really don’t appreciate that!” Now THAT'S pure gold! |
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