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Restraining Order Questions
http://twincitiescarry.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=14236		 Page 2 of 2
Author:  alyx [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Why are women so often such bitches?! I had to get a restraining order last week (granted) for my minor daughter who is being stalked and physically threatened by an adult male who is obsessed with her. I noted in the application process that the one being served has an opportunity to ask for a hearing. INAL and I don't play one on T.V. but there does seem to be some provission in the law for the falsely accused. I has also been my experience that we are guilty until proven otherwise and that after much associated duress. Definately call Marc Berris for advice, attorney extraordinaire! There is, IMHO a reason for your fear...don't let it go unattended!
Author:  Dick Unger [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
alyx wrote:
Why are women so often such bitches?!


Well, it's been my experience that men can be a bit of a problem as well. But yeah, a restraining order, like any legal process is often abused. From the "man's" or more properly the "Respondent's" point of view, he has a Temporary Restraining Order that He can't contact his family, except to pay child support to Famil Services, and he has a few days to hire a lawer to help him deal with this.

If you think you're going to be hit with this, you're probably right, and should talk to your attorney NOW about it before it happens. It's hard at the last minute. A letter to her now from an attorney may ecourage her to not make sh*t up. But the fact is, she can get free help from the Clerk of Court and a women's "Advocate" to draft the Affidavit in support of the Restaining Order, they are not lawyers and can help her be "creative" if you get the picture.

The "man" (or Respondent) has to hire a private attorney at his own expense. It might cost a couple thousand to save your gun rights, and your visitation rights. :evil:
Author:  Rand McNally [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Thanks, everyone for your help. I will be talking to the city police this afternoon and have already spoken to my attorney and sent an email documenting the incident to my Parental Consultant (what a joke, but that is for another thread). I am definately going to look into getting some sort of recording device for myself and my wife since she is often involved when I can't be. Plus I like the recording device for incase there is an incident with LEO while carrying.

You guys are awesome!
Author:  joelr [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
I'm reminded of a lawyer friend who mentioned, once upon a time, he'd rather defend an accused serial killer than a divorced husband in a child custody case. "The murderer's got rights," he explained.
Author:  Rand McNally [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
joelr wrote:
I'm reminded of a lawyer friend who mentioned, once upon a time, he'd rather defend an accused serial killer than a divorced husband in a child custody case. "The murderer's got rights," he explained.


Amen, Joel. This whole process has been a nightmare. I am almost $66K into this and we have only been divorce for 2 years. Each day is a new battle and as a man/father I am constantly having to defend myself. All rights to mothers, no rights to father.
Author:  Aquaholic [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Which is why, if I ever get the urge to get married again, I plan to just ask her what color house she wants, and buy it for her. It'll save me money in the long run.

~ Marriage: The number one cause of divorce.
Author:  Jeremiah [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
I'm reminded of the movie McClintock, where one of the hands asks G. W. McClintock (John Wayne):

"Is divorce where you pay a woman not to live with you?"

When G. W. answers "Pretty much", the fellow replies, "Some women I've knowed, it'd be worth it." :wink:
Author:  Scott Hughes [ Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Andrew Rothman wrote:
Scott Hughes wrote:
LAWYER, LAWYER, LAWYER :!: It may cost some but in the long run it'll probably be money well spent. Advice from folks like us here is good for venting; but a professional is what you really need.


Yup. Although the "LAWYER, LAWYER, LAWYER" advice is pretty solid. ;)


That's really good Andrew :!: :D
Author:  ironbear [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Rand McNally wrote:
Thanks, everyone for your help. I will be talking to the city police this afternoon and have already spoken to my attorney and sent an email documenting the incident to my Parental Consultant (what a joke, but that is for another thread). I am definately going to look into getting some sort of recording device for myself and my wife since she is often involved when I can't be. Plus I like the recording device for incase there is an incident with LEO while carrying.

A former co-worker had their "Parental Consultant" take him on a ride to hell. It was difficult, but he finally got her removed and replaced. He has been impressed with the new one, and she has been fair. His advice? Record conversations, document everything, ask for copies of things, and if you don't think your lawyer is doing it for you, get another. He settled on his 4th lawyer.
Author:  JimC [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
I'd get a spy pen that has audio & Video. Great to have a face to connect to the words. Plus if she acts like a looney, you'll have a video of it


Rand McNally wrote:
joelr wrote:
I'm reminded of a lawyer friend who mentioned, once upon a time, he'd rather defend an accused serial killer than a divorced husband in a child custody case. "The murderer's got rights," he explained.


Amen, Joel. This whole process has been a nightmare. I am almost $66K into this and we have only been divorce for 2 years. Each day is a new battle and as a man/father I am constantly having to defend myself. All rights to mothers, no rights to father.
Author:  Rodentman [ Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
My son's girlfriend's ex got an RO against my son (long sordid story) basically just for the asking. (He lied a lot, too.) At the hearing the judge dispatched it summarily. I wish I could have been there.
Author:  farmerj [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
As I am NOW living this...

The sheriff will revoke your permit.

The judge WILL issue the Order for Protection. It's a civil proceeding that only requires a preponderance of the evidence. No judge will deny an OFP for fear of being the judge that did not protect the woman.

The Victims Advocate WILL assist her in filling out the paperwork and pushing it into the courts.

The Victims Advocate WILL work with with the Probation office and report back to the judge and court any possible violations; founded or not.
Quote:
"We don't investigate facts, we just report information"


You WILL be arrested or sited for any slight perceived violation of that OFP

The OFP is against YOU, the respondent, not the petitioner. If the petitioner cares to come into YOUR house after the OFP is issued, you are SOL.

IF you are having ANY difficulties, get the LEO's involved NOW. Report ANY situations that the estranged person induces. Copy your attorney with this information in detail. Times, dates, locations, description of incident in DETAIL.

Include a 3rd party witness in a PUBLIC location for ANY interactions.

At NO TIME, raise your voice, change your tone or get into a pissing match with the estranged party. To include phone conversations or discussions in public.

At NO TIME, drive in a situation that you are hot headed....Road rage is NOT a good thing in this situation.
Author:  JudoknowifIgottagun [ Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Restraining Order Questions
Just a piece of advice that has worked for me that no one else has mentioned. Communicate by e-mail only. Print the e-mails you send & the e-mails you get from your ex. Three-hole punch them and keep them in a binder.

I had to go through this also. When we exchanged the kid, no one got out of the cars. Only the kid would get out and go to the other vehicle. No words exchanged, no glances, no waves, nothing.

Getting an intermediary to exchange the kids is a good idea, too. Otherwise I like the comment about meeting in the lobby of the police station.

Good luck. Being a divorced dad with a kid / kids sucks. Father = automatically the guilty, "bad" person in a divorce. It sure seems like we don't have any rights other than the right to pay, pay, pay, and see your kid once in awhile. My heart & prayers go out to you.
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